But, instead of focusing on how our bodies drape and bend, we should celebrate its functioning and good health. It sounds tough and it is — many of us have been conditioned by the media and sometimes our families to feel that a certain body type or specific features are more attractive and desirable.
Other than the media, one of the most influential entities in a child’s life are its parents. Children learn by observing; they follow the example set forth to them and home is where real education takes place and is ingrained, especially at a young age. Here are five ways you can help instill body positivity in your child as a parent —
- Always emphasize health over looks.
Being healthy and able is the key — our bodies functioning properly is a small miracle, which happens daily, and something we often take for granted till it’s gone. If 2020 taught us nothing else, it was to be grateful for our health. Take every opportunity to celebrate their achievements relating to their skills and abilities rather than giving them compliments about their looks.
- Don’t use negative self talk.
Instead of being critical, use positive affirmations. Try to avoid the words ‘skinny’ or ‘fat’ — even those words have subtle positive and negative valuations implied. Words have power — try and choose a mantra with your child that resonates with them and use that as a compliment. Use words like ‘strong’, ‘resilient’, ‘funny’, ‘kind’ and ‘smart’, and emphasize those qualities in their daily life.
- Make sure they feel seen and represented.
Perhaps one of the most powerful and progressive moments of 2020 was Kamala Harris being elected as VP — for most Black and South Asian girls across the United States, it was the first time they saw someone that looked like they did, in a position of power. Make sure your child has someone to look up to — try discussing the accomplishments of people within the family, an athlete, politician, artist, or even a celebrity doppleganger with them! This is also a great chance to create goals with them they can work towards.
- Buy toys and books that are inclusive and diverse.
Move over Barbie, children’s toys have come a long way in terms of being inclusive and actually representative of kids. You can now find dolls that celebrate diversity, not just of skin color, but of ability. For example, the ‘My Life As’ collection at Walmart has launched three dolls that empower children with the message that they’re not alone – a gymnast with a prosthetic leg, a cancer survivor, and an Autism Advocate doll. Have a discussion with your child about what kind of toy/book they want and why and always let them know there are options where the protagonist is someone they can relate to.
- Teach them about media aesthetics vs reality.
As an adult, it’s easier to recognize that what the media flouts as perfection is far from the only version of an ideal. Experience teaches us that beauty comes in all skin colors, sizes, and shapes; it also never looks like what it does on Instagram. Children growing up in the age of social media need a reality check — camera angles, picture cropping, and filters are deceiving. Make sure you talk with them about expectations versus reality and how news feeds aren’t representative of real life. This is also a great chance to make sure they’re following ‘influencers’ with positive messages and that perhaps look similar.
It may seem your child is too young to worry about all this but eating disorders have been seen in kids as young as 5, with 81% of 10-year-olds admitting to dieting, binge eating or fear of getting fat, reports Today. It’s proof that it’s never too early to start telling your child health is what matters most and encouraging them to be their strongest, best self and equating their bodies with function as opposed to looks.